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Hold on to your sense of appreciation

I appreciate a good audience. Not just a big audience, but an appreciative audience. Even if the venue is crappy,
even if the reason is dodgy,
even if the audience isn't all that appreciative.

Why? Because wherever I am, working, I've been someplace worse, or weirder. And I'm not talking about working on the streets. Those have been some of my favorite places and audiences. In fact, I have almost always enjoyed performing in those places, and under all those conditions that most people would find most difficult.

Have any of you comedians ever had to put on a pair of bright yellow tights, a dance belt and a pair of riding boots to do your show? I have, and you know what... I loved it. Except for the dance belt... but if a girl wants to look good, she's got to put in a little effort (yes I'm still talking about me).

And why should I find it embarrassing; I got good legs. Let them scrawny leg bastards complain about working the Renaissance Fair; I look good!

You know you've 'crossed over' to the weird side when you accept the leering gazes, and comments of strange drunken women while striding across a muddly field in the middle of farmland in Maryland on your way to the second 'Joust' and all you think is "What's for lunch today? A turkey leg or a 'steak on a stick'?' And..."Do I have enough money in my sporen for a mead?'

Playing in Playa

I took a vacation this. I know what you're thinking, 'A vacation from WHAT! From being on a cruise ship, visiting exotic ports, going to the beach during the day and receiving uproarious applause and laughter for your show at night?

Well, yes. And wouldn't you know it I ended up back at one of the places I had been before: the always relaxing Playa Del Carmen (see the listing for more details about my first adventure there). I wish I could claim Playa was my own little piece of paradise but it is the fastest growing city in all of Central America, so I think we can officially say that the gatto is out of the bolsa.

Still one of Playa's charms is somehow remaining human scaled while growing. Part of that is how close all the best cafe, restaurants and bars are to the beach which means it remains a place where once you arrive you can pretty much walk to wherever you want to go. That means that if you want you can spend a week in flipflops, never brushing the sands out from between your toes. Still it's playa so if you want you can also get a gourmet meal (mostly Northern Italian, strangely).

Kristin and I spent several nights eating at the great Babe's a very hip noodle shop that serves margaritas in glasses better suited for large ice cream sundaes and delicious Pad Thai. I of course needed to visit all my 'local' joints: HC of Monteray,

Where I've been; where I'm going(September 2007)

My direct flight from Bermuda to Boston was supposed to be at 12:50pm with arrival around 2pm, but now it's 5:10 and I'm still trying to get home. Such are the breaks of the cruise ship performers. A nice problem to have since it means having been someplace as nice as Bermuda prior to the problems.

Twenty four hours ago I was laying on the bench, next to my friend Marie Pierre snoozing while listening to the sounds of the ocean. We had rented bikes from the ship (Explorer of the Seas) and spent the whole afternoon riding and swimming. Not bad for a day 'at work'. By 4:40 I was in the shower, and soon after had a soundcheck for the evenings show. On stage at 9pm, done by 9:20pm (they had asked for a tight 20 minutes), and packed and in bed by midnight. It has all become quite ordinary. Which is why it is good to remind myself that all this is relatively new. Based on my comments on this very page, I am reminded that prior to 2004 I had never set foot on a cruise ship.

But now it seems like a pretty ordinary occurance. RCCL has offered me 10 weeks for 2008 and Princess, Celebrity and Disney seem interested in claiming time as well. It almost makes you wonder what took me so long?

I.O.U. (Things I really should have written about but still haven't)

As a blog, this page started out strong and has deteriorated in the last year. But I'm glad to say that my lack of posting does not represent a lack of good news or interesting experiences. I guess it's been a case of being too busy to take time to reflect, especially in front of my computer. Still in lue of actual posts,

I want to let you know what stuff I owe you:

My trip to Tahiti

Cool performers I have met in 2007

More cruise ship stories

Corporate show success stories

Peter's forrays in purely mental magic

More marketing success stories

Yikes! I better get back to work...

Waking up to rain in a beach town (February 2007)

Playa del Carmen - I woke up to the sound of rain on the skylight. I rolled over twice before I decided that the idea of a cup of coffee was more interesting then more sleep. It's really really early for a performer to get up (not even 7am) but I have always felt that one of my strengths as a performer was never losing track of the value of the daytime hours. I guess the image of my father, who was self-employed even when I was growing up, getting up at 4:30 each morning to work, has stayed in my head as the symbol of self-disipline. Not self-denial or self-flagulation, just focus. Of course I have often had a schedule that allows time for a mid-day nap, so raising early really isn't that much of a burden.

Today's rain really doesn't effect me all that much. I worked last night and will work again tonight, but by then there's a good chance the rain will have passed. One of the joys of working where others are vacationing is not having the pressure of making each day perfect or special. You can see vacationers overreacting to every change in temperature and every cloud. I do understand their frustration: They only have 7 days to soak in the sunshine. But folks, it's the weather!

Here are a couple of other random thoughts that have been rolling around in my head:

1. I love my laptop - Okay, I admit this isn't exactly Shopenhauer, but this trip has given me an opportunity to notice how useful and multi purposes this little device can be. Being away for an extended time has forced me to use it for so many things, none of which are my reason for getting it in the first place: My misguided vision of myself writing more if I had it around. Instead here are the things I have been using my Powerbook G4 for:

Phoning home: Skype is a godsend for the cheap, travelling performer. Of course being a tourist town, a young town and a town full of europeans there are plenty of internet/phone centers, places that specialize in helping you stay connected to far away places. But Skype means that whenever I can find a wireless signal, I can call home. Also most of the time, I can talk to whomever I want for practically as long as I want. Using Skype to call regular phone lines (Skyping Out) does cost money, but it's pennies and I have yet to finish a phone call and think, 'Gee I really need to watch myself next time.' Even at home, with my main phone, I have ended up ringing up an inflated bill because of long distance calls.

2. Following my portfolio

3. Listening to Music

4. Reading Books

5. Keeping up on the news

6. Tending to my business - one word: Tahiti. Wouldn't have gotten it if I was difficult to reach.

7. Editing Video

8. Creating my own introductory voiceover

How exactly did I end up here?

I love my folks, am devoted to them, even to the point where I wonder if it's normal. Still there were experiences that were not part of my upbringing. One of the them were the ideas of traditional vacations. We never went to Florida in the winter, went skiing in Aspen or even packed the car and drove to the Grand Canyon. We rarely even packed up and went to the beach on a Saturday. My mom hated the crowds.

So recently it occurred to me how odd that I have ended up living a life where I develop 'flip flop blisters' from wearing plastic sandals everyday.

I actually know exactly how it happened: Long ago I decided that I wouldn't go on vacation anywhere and instead would only go places where I figured out how to get hired. Of course I have broken that promise plenty of times. (to be continued)

How do you say 'Spit Take' in Spanish? (February 2007)

'Hola' from Mexico. Playa del Carmen to be exact. And the living room of my condo to be very exact. I've been here in PDC for just about two weeks and it's been great. It's kind of a dream situation: Living just two blocks from the beach, in a community that has the rhythm of a beach town but the spice of Mexico and the sophistication of Italy. There are actually lots and lots of Italians here, many of them residents. There is one section of the big pedestrian way (called 5th Avenue) where all the restaurants are owned by Italians and you are more likely to hear Italian spoken as Spanish or English. It also means great coffee in the morning and ceviche for lunch.

Because this is a new project, bringing high quality variety shows to the local big resorts, the shows have been slow to come and many of them have been learning experiences for everyone. I've gotten so used to the cruise ships, where the support for the shows is flawless, that I forget not everyone understands that you can't do an act in a bar if the bartenders refuse to stop using the blender every 5 seconds (damn those frozen drinks). I tried to explain to the crowd "My show is funnier if you drink, but only 'on the rocks.'

But still there are many upsides to this sort of gig. Autonomy is one of them. The freedom to go new places, explore and discover things is wonderful. For me, it was about food first. Finding new interesting places to eat has been great, and I have discovered many hidden gems.

Then a couple of days ago my agent moved me to a new apartment where I had a kitchen and now it's the adventure of food shopping.

Here in Mexico, water is still an issue. Bottled water is a must but you'd be amazed how often you forget. Brushing my teeth is something that I do with such a sense of habit, but now I have to remember to not just scoop up a handful of water out of the spigot to wash out my mouth. Also there is a whole process to cleanse vegetables I buy at the store. Antibacterial drops are placed into botttled water and then lettace is soaked, for 20 minutes!

Still one of the joys of living somewhere new, even temporarily, is that sense of accomplishment at everyday tasks. Going to the store and returning with coffee filters is a reason for congradulations.

I have also realized how vital my laptop has become. Now that I am using Skype to call home and friends, my laptop is more then just a tool for work, it's a lifeline. Although I know I must look a little weird sitting along late at night on a park bench (close enough to the cafe to get wireless access) cooing sweet notings into the microphone of the laptop. What a picture!

So these 4 comics walk into a lounge (Late Jan 2007)

I am writing this on the plane, heading down to Cancun/Playa del Carmen where I am going to spend most of the month of February. And in reviewing the last couple of posts, I wanted to include something about my last contract for RCCL, on the Legend of the Seas.

Once in a while, a ship changes casts - Royal Caribbean move one set of singers and dancers off the ship and brings on a new group , usually with a brand new show. This means that the first week the new cast is moving in - getting used to performing the show on the ship and letting the stage crew finish the sets (which can only be partially completed on land.)

These transition weeks, the company brings on extra talent to entertain on the nights when there is usually a production show. Instead of the regular lineup (one stand up , one comedy variety, one celebrity headliner) we had two comedians (Ralph Harris and Phil Tag), two variety acts (myself and Juggler Randy Cabral) and as a headliner, Freddy Roman, a legendary Borst Belt comedian and current president of the Friar's club.

Lucky for me Phil was around to make introductions, so by the second night of the cruise the schedule was set: Go the show and then meet at the lounge to drink and talk. Whoever had worked that night would be complemented on his performance, and asked about 'the other show' but mostly it was just what I imagine happened whenever a group of comedians get together. And yet it was special somehow because Freddy is part of a lineage that I have so little contact with. He's a standup from a time when modern standup was being invented.

Lucky for all of us, Freddy had retained the Holy Grail of cruise entertainers, 100% complementary drinks, so he made sure all of our glasses stayed full. But the best part was the scene. People talking trash about each other and other comics, people making fun of work and the audience. The night Freddy worked, he had two killer shows, but he does open with a bit of raunchy humor, about Viagra and getting old, and in response he lost a couple of people. I don't me a lot, I mean maybe five. After the show the guy was furious, in that funny sort of way. "What they can't laugh about that stuff? Where are these people from? What are they bible thumpers!" A couple of minutes later we notice a couple at the other end of the bar given us some funny stares.

Now we were making a lot of noise, a lot more then I usually allow myself, being that I am sort of an employee, but with Freddy as our ring leader we had moved up a couple of decibels. I'm pretty sure that's why these people kept looking over, but Freddy looks back at these people and says, "Look at those people! What's with the sour pusses? I bet those are the ones who walked out of my show!" And then he uses a term that is rough to say the least. Let's just say is rhymes with 'rock suckers'.

'Look at those rock suckers! I bet those are the very rock suckers who walked out of my show! Those rock suckers have no #@# sense of humor. Don't they know how to relax and have a good time? No, not those rock suckers!"

Now keep in mind, Freddy isn't exactly whispering any of this, and everytime he says something, Randy and I (who I think was as shocked as me) break out laughing, which only seems to spur him on. This goes on for a long time and to be honest both Randy and I tried to tone him down, but we eventually decided to let him rant.

The rest of the trip was fun as well: I got to share some of my favorite port spots with Randy (who didn't know much about the areas we visited. And before we all split, I made sure to get Freddy's number and ask about membership in the Friar's. He turned to me and said, "You're just the kind of person we're looking for.' Either he was being sincere or he is setting me up so he can blackball me later; the old rock sucker!

Someday my Princess will come-Part 3 (January 2007)

I thought I was so so clever when I made up the above title to describe my first experience with Princess Cruises. Of course the phrase comes from a song from Disney's Snow White. I guess I should have waited because just last week I got an email from Disney, looking for just a bit more information about my show. Disney was one of the only large cruise lines I DID NOT contact orginally (that is a year ago), in fact my first packet to Disney was just a couple of months ago. I have nothing but great things about working with this compnany and I certainly hope that seeing more of my show (they asked for a full length video) only convinces them that I am the right act for any cruise audience (just like my Mom tells me). So now my biggest probem is what to title my news developments about Disney?

The Mouse that called?

A new rat on Mickey ships?'

Donald Duck's not wearing pants, why do I have to?

I guess I still really DON'T have a good idea yet.

Someday my Princess will come-Part 2 (January 2007)
Well, about three weeks since my return from Galveston/Houston and already that cruise seems like a distant memory. The shows went great, and as I suspected being on a Princess ship wasn't all that different then any of the Royal Caribbean Ships I had been on before. Still the experience isn't completely the same and every cruise line seems to have it's distinct flavor. Here are just some of the things I discovered about the Grand Princess:
- They have AMAZING pizza, especially compared to the 'cheese on bread' that most of the RCL ships serve
- The Grand Princess features a Giant movie screen on the main pool deck. On a warm evening, it's like a trip to the drive-in and people look cute sitting on lounge chairs tucked in under blankets (handed out by the staff). During the day, the same thing just looks bizarre: an entire pool deck full of sun bathing people all facing the same way, watching TV. It's like something out of a Terry Gilliam movie.
- All in all, I think it's easier to eat healthy on Royal Caribbean ships, especially those that have a fresh pasta bar or Asian dishes. Of course that might be different if I ever got myself down to the dining room instead of eating every meal in the buffet.

While we are talking about the buffet, I was glad to find that both lines use the same giant plates which meant I was able to use the same jokes on both ships.

In Belize, I skipped the trip to Macy's and got myself into a water taxi and visited Caulker Cay. Kristin and I were trying to find a cheap snorkeling adventure and one of the unofficial tour guides (really just a cab driver) suggested it. It's a really beautiful place, and in the end we just walked around, found a restaurant and ate. Of course we were eating grilled lobster, drinking margaritas and staring directly out at the ocean, so it was a bit more then just a nice meal.

We also had a bit of an adventure exploring Roahtan, Honduras. It was off and on rain but that didn't keep us from touring the island with a couple of young guys who were probably under 18 and definately didn't speak English.

The View from Caulker Cay

 The best news is that Princess liked me enough to decide to add me to their regular roster. After I returned home, I expected to hear from the home office with some sort of review of my performance. Instead, I just got an email asking me if I was available for another contract, back on the Grand Princess; I guess that means they liked me.

Someday my Princess will come (December 2006)

It's so early. Yesterday I flew from Boston to Houston; I arrived at the hotel at 10:30pm, wired from coffee and flying. Today I needed to make my way to Galveston, where I will board the Grand Princess. The cruise doesn't leave until 5pm, but for some reason Princess demands that we (guest entertainers and crew) board our transfer bus at 6:30am.

I know that's not all that early, but sitting here at 7:15 I know I will arrive in Galveston hours before I will even be ALLOWED to sign on to the ship.

Driving to Galveston, I am thinking of the first time I came here, probably ten years ago, when I was hired to perform at the Dickens on the Strand festival. In fact, that festival usually happens in early December, which means I was probably hear almost exactly 10 years ago.

I don't remember all that much, but I do remember the Strand - the oldest part of Galveston with buildings that remind you of the old west or New Orleans French Quarter. I remember meeting and hanging out with a couple of 'older' street legends, people who are probably the same age as I am now: Mary Mary, Danny Lord, Charlie Brown.

Danny was one of the first people I saw do a watch steal (I had seen Mickey O do one and Johnny Fox also) and I remember going back to his show time after time trying to understand the logistics and the timing.

For most performers watch steals are about opportunity, it's something you do when the moment is right, but since the audience doesn't know what's coming, if things don't go well and the performer can't get the watch, the audience is unaware that anything went wrong. Of course, for some weird reason, I have ended up making 'the steal' a focus of my act, so I rarely feel I can just skip it if things don't work out in my favor, and I know that someday that decision is going to come back and bite me in the ass.

Here's why I should worry:

On the Sunday afternoon of Dickens on the Strand back in 1996, a bunch of us performers decided to go and see Danny Lord do his show. We all were looking forward to seeing Danny because his show definately has quite a bit of improvisation and invention, so you always know it's going to be fresh.I just wanted to watch him do his steal. Late in thes show we see him march into the crowd and grab a woman by the wrist. In unison we all take a big breath as he begins leading her from the stage. We see his fingers busy at her wrist, but by the time he reaches the stage, her watch is still where it started. His face twitches with frustration, but probably nothing the audience would notice. Frustrated and without much excuse he leads the woman back off stage puts her back in her seat and grabs a different women. Arriving back on stage his hand was again still dancing on her wrist, despirately trying to release the timepiece. He shoots us a look and we all bust out laughing, he returns the moment by miming gnawing on her arm like a dog and then miming sawing at her arm with an invisable hack saw. The woman and the crowd are confused, but we are just laughing louder. He drops her arm and goes to get another volunteer. This time it's a man and he seems to have given up on the watch completely. He arrives with his new victim and proceeds to improvise a routine that ended by them ballroom dancing around the stage (the man and the woman), but in the process gets both watches and the guys wallet! The crowd never knew what hit them, but at the back of the crowd, we are just glad he's found his way back.

Now it all worked out okay for Danny although I suspect he lost about a quart of water sweating through his frustration. Also Danny is a great improviser and doesn't mind 'taking the long way around.' But someday I am going to find myself in the same situation, I just don't know if I have the grace to handle it as well. I guess I better sign up for Ballroom Dancing lessons.

8 days a week (Late September 2006)

Whew! I am writing this from one of the lounges of the Majesty of the Seas, and boy could I use a couple of days at sea. It's been a crazy week: a week of long days, of pressure and worry and finally of celebration and relief. The week started and finished with shows: Last Sunday was a sunset cruise sponsored by Smith Barney. It was a sweet little group (only about 25 people), but strolling magic for such a small group can be a problem, because it can be a strain on your repertoire if every time you do a routine, most of the people in the group end up seeing it. In preparation, I had spent a couple of days prior to the event reviewing some of the books from my magic library. Instead of ending up learning a bunch of new routines, I actually ended up inventing a couple of routines. The one that I am most excited about, and the one that got the best reaction, was one I am calling Luck vs. Fate. I've already shared it with a couple of my magic friends, but if they end up liking it as much as I do, I'm going to go ahead and see about getting it published more officially. But the Smith Barney gig was just a warm up to the big event, The Boston Comedy Festival.

Why I love the Boston Comedy Festival

I have a special place in my heart for the Boston Comedy Festival. It was this festival that 4 years ago, brought the nice people who book the talent for Royal Caribbean to Boston, where they found me.

Of course I wasn't even at the festival that year, but I was at Faneuil Hall when they walked through looking for street performer types, and who did they see? Well actually it was John and Rebecca, the Yo-yo People... Ok here's the whole story.

I was in downtown boston having just finished a meeting with a possible client. To be honest, I don't really remember who I was visiting with, but I know I was meeting with someone, because as I remember I was wearing something relatively nice (and I was in Boston midweek and didn't have my performing gear). For whatever reason, I was there, dressed up and I decided that on such a beautiful day, I should swing by the pitch and see who was performing. As I strolled up, I see that John and Rebecca are just starting their show. I sit down in the back and watch.

Seeing me almost immediately they begin to include me in the show. They tell the audience that they better do a good job performing, because their agent (pointing to me) is watching. I laugh and play along.

After the show, these three women come up to me and ask whether or not I am really the Yo-yo People's agent. I say no, but they ask why. They introduce themselves as members of the Entertainment department of Royal Caribbean. Well, you should certainly get a card from John and Rebecca and you will also 'need' one from me. I also mention that there are plenty of other great acts here at Faneuil Hall and that the best time to see them all is during the Street Performer's Festival, which was coming up in just a couple of weeks. I promise that if they return, I will be happy to take them around to see only the best acts at the festival.

Long story short: they return, I escort, I schmooze and make sure they have a copy of my promotional tape. Bada bing, my first contract.

Moral of the story: Sometimes you get lucky and when you do you have to make sure you do everything in your power to make it stick.
Boston Comedy Festival 2006 - No F**king Rabbits!

Last year as the 2005 Boston Comedy Festival was wrapping up, I approached producer, Jim McCue and asked him if he might be interested in having a night of comedy magic as part of the 2006 festival. I had practiced my speech and developed a whole set of responses to any objections that I thought he might present, but I never really had an opportunity to use them because right away his response was 'Oh yeah, that would be great!' In fact he claimed he has been thinking about it for a while and had even talked to Johnny Pizzi off and on about doing something, but it just had never happened. Well, this year it did.

On Thursday, Sept. 14th Mike Bent, Steve Kradolfer, Johnny Pizzi and I presented No F**king Rabbits! a night of new magic at The Comedy Vault.

From the beginning I was concerned about how big a show we could possibly expect to put on. The festival is a great event, but putting show on during it means that you actually have a harder time getting a crowd because there are so many comedy events going on each night, as part of the festival. Crowds tend to be small for the non-competition events. So I decided that I would focus on getting press for Rabbits, which would serve to promote myself in general and would feed the audience. Here's the result:

A feature story about me in the regional paper, The Metrowest Daily, and a picture and in the Boston Globe, printed on the day of the event As you will see, both stories featured great photos of me which will look great in my promotional kits.
Catch the Buzz (July 2006)

One of the toughest things to learn to do in this profession is how to brag about yourself. Whether you hire a marketing professional or not, eventually you have to face the fact that, like any product, you must be packaged correctly to interest the correct people. Entertainers have it particularly tough because the quality and value of our 'product' is difficult to measure. We all tend to use the same words to describe what we do, and yet more then anything else, we want to stand out from the crowd.

Recently I decided it was time to contact all the major cruise lines in order to offer my services. What I had heard was that the entertainment departments of these companies routinely received 15 to 20 promotional packets a day. It seemed to me that my first task was to grab the attention of the entertainment department, using only the OUTSIDE of the envelope. My hope was that by being distinctive in my packaging, I could heighten the possibility of the staff viewing my DVD. I knew my video was persuasive, but only if you could persuade someone to watch it.

I considered a gift, but most of the time the gifts that people include in packets are crap. No working professional needs a cheap pen or measuring tape, especially one that advertises my show on it. Plus I knew i wanted to include something that would create a sense of satisfaction and pleasure in the recipient.
My preference was for chocolate. Everyone likes good chocolate, or knows someone who does and from my studies of NLP and hypnosis, I knew the value of associating myself to the good feelings one gets from poping a delicious chocolate in your mouth.

Of course post the anthrax scare and 9/11 it seemed like a difficult task to send chocolate through the mail. So my next thought was coffee, and Starbucks coffee to be exact. SInce I couldn't send a Caramel Machiatto through the mail, I settled for a Starbucks gift card, and I took the time to personalize each with a Starbucks-inspired Peter Gross logo sticker (right) , so that as the recipient carried the gift card to his or her local cafe, my face would be staring out at them.
Of course my job wasn't done, because I knew I still needed them to open the envelope in order to find the gift.

In the end, I designed a simple sticker that announced the gift and a custom envelope, with a clear window that revealed a Starbucks hot cup holder (left).

THe whole package took days to design, hours to create. In the end I only sent 8 packets, but I knew that if anyone of the time worked, and landed me contracts with a second cruise line (other then the amazing people at RCCL) it would all be worth it.

So out then went, back in July. And what was the result of this huge production: PRINCESS CRUISES, that what.
My first contact will be December 23 through 29th, but I know that once I do one successful contract for them they will be a consistent and content new client. I am still talking to Norwegian and Celebrity, but I am already calling this little project a huge success. And the best news is that this package is general enough to be used with all types of clients. So if you think you know a market that I should be in, let me know and I will get busy with the computer, printer and exacto knife, getting the next run ready.
January 2006

Brand New Year, Brand New Me

Do I look happy? Do I look relaxed? Want to know why?

Because this shot was taken BEFORE I started flying in and out of the Caribbean like a corrupt Washington lobbyist.

For better or worse (better for my bank account and worse for my Boston social life), this winter has been about traveling and working. Today I am at my desk for first time in two weeks, and by the end of the week i will once again be hitting the road (or the runway, to be more accurate).

My shows for Royal Caribbean have all been great, although after a couple of shows I have trouble remember any specific performance. The first time you hit the stage of a floating, 1100 seat theater, with your theme music blaring and the crowd cheering, the excitement is palpable and when you're done you feel completely euphoric.
By the 20th time, you feel a bit more comfortable and are focusing more on smaller details, 'Where is that guy I wanted to bring up for the watch steal sitting? What was that new joke I wanted to try? Is my fly up?'

I have also really enjoyed my time on the ships. I have met a lot of great people, seen some exotic locales, eaten some fine meals, and done a lot more scuba diving than I ever imagined.

Most recently, I dove St. Lucia. A lush, relatively untrammeled island, Off the shore of a little resort cut out of the rain forest and into the rocky cliffs of the mountains. Mountains that push right up against the clear blue ocean. Wow.

Underwater, beautiful fish and plant life were everywhere. Barracuda, eels, plus plenty of unidentifiable colorful 'fishies' (sometimes hundreds swimming around you). Just a great day to be in the 80 degree water.
When I returned to my room on board the Serenade, I found out I had been 'moved up' in the roster and would be going on that night. So by the end of the day I had swam at 70 ft. and entertained 1000 people. All this, plus a couple of drinks at the onboard nightclub. Any complaints? No not really.

So what does the next 4 months hold for me? More trips to the Caribbean (thanks to RCCL), some land-bound shows (mostly for private groups and organizations), a couple of showcases ( including one in Miami in February), and most important my own personal project of keeping in touch with friends, clients and other interested parties with a new round of e-mail updates and postcards.

If I don't have your current e-mail address and you would like to know more about me and where I will be next, visit my mailing list page and sign up right now.

August 2005

Mr. Saturday Night...

The above refers to a Billy Crystal movie from the early 1990's where Billy Crystal played a Borsht Belt comedian who we see come up through the ranks and age gracefully . To be honest, I don't remember much about it now ( like a lot of what Mr. Crystal creates, I think it was more maudlin than funny) but I remember one scene where the main character complains that he has 'lost his whole winter.'

Even now I remember thinking, "What would it be like to have one gig, or even one client that would be a guarantee of a whole season?" Well now I know: it feels AMAZING!

This spring RCCL contacted me and asked for my 'wish list' for 2006: my preferred weeks for bookings with them. Because I work directly with the cruise line and not through an agent, I had the fun of generating the response myself - how do you sound confident and concrete AND flexible at the same time? In the end they gave me most of what I asked for, about 11 weeks work along with the 3 I already had on the calendar for the end of 2005. All this and they still left me with my spring and summer free for other gigs.
Of course, after the initial excitement, it occurred to me how much travel and time away that is, but somehow I have a feeling friends and family would rather have me busy than home and depressed because of lack of work.

So starting in November, expect to see less of me than usual; unless you want to visit me... in the Caribbean!

P.S. - Just now, it occurs to me that the title of this movie, never fully explained, may be a pun on the first lines of the classic song "Don't Get Around Much Anymore" which, you will remember, starts with the somewhat hard to parse, "Missed a Saturday night..." I guess Billy Crystal is pretty funny.

June 2005
A Rose by Any Other Name...

I received an e-mail this morning offering to buy my domain, funnymagic.com, for $400. It was just a couple of lines long and pointed out she was not interested in the content of the site, just the name.

It is a ridiculous proposition on its face: I have owned the domain for at least 7 years, and by this point I have become so associated with the domain that giving it up would be signaling to many that I was out of business. The website has been directly responsible for prompting at least 40,000 dollars worth of work. But it was such an outrageous request that it seemed inadequate to simply ignore it or respond with a simple ‘No Thanks’.

The brief e-mail made me realize about how closely I have begun to associate myself with my domain. A domain is, after all, one of the only ways in modern life, to pick your own identity. As it has often been observed, we do not pick our own names. In fact doing so is seen as a bit innocent and narcissistic: Does the world really deserve what a ‘Sunshine Isis Sojourner’ has to offer? But a domain name is a necessity and unless you decide to go with the unimaginative ‘www.FirstLast.com’, you need to find some word , or set of words, which represent who you are and what you offer. And of course once you have discovered the perfect words you have to hope that no one else discovered them first.
I can clearly remember one frustrating afternoon excitingly generating an entire page of great domain names and then one by one crossing them off once I realized that someone had already snatched them up. I can only imagine how frustrating the task must be today, when so many more people are interested in the having a presence on the web. Now, years later, I can’t even remember what other names I considered; I am funnymagic and funnymagic is me.

But how to respond to this clueless person? How best to explain my outrage? In the end, this seemed like a proper response;

Dear Bettina,

Thanks for your kind offer. Funnymagic.com is not for sale; but I have an offer for you. I really like the name Bettina Johnson; it’s much better than the name I am currently using for my goldfish. Based on your kind offer I am willing to offer you $400. Don’t worry, I am not interested in who you are, so even if you decide to sell, you could continue to operate as you always have. I just want your name.

I would even throw in ‘Devin’, my Goldfish’s current name, for free. Let me know what you think.

Sincerely

Peter Gross

Still at ‘www.funnymagic.com’

April 2005

Get INTO your head - Well, it seems like the world has started spinning just a little faster this year, which is fine with me. I feel like more has changed in the last 12 months than in the last couple of years. And part of that has to be how bold and decisive I have become.

Back at the begining of April, I spent a week in Las Vegas, studying with the Geoff Rolling, an expert in using hypnosis to entertain and motivate. I have long been facinated by Hypnosis and other skills to probe the incredible depth and power of the mind.

Thanks to my father, I grew up sorrounded by great books on the subject, (www.ronaldgross.com). It's probably what drew me to study philosophy.

So attending this class wasn't really about starting something new. It was really an opportunity to organize a lot of skills, concepts and information that I had been using for years. For a long time I had been looking for a single expert who could help me put it all togehter I had been using my whole adult life. Well Geoff turned out to be my Yoda, and not just because of his green skin and funny voice.

Needless to say the workshop was intense and highly productive, but here's the best part; by the end of the week both Geoff and I agreed that I was ready to 'step out' and begin to use my aquired skills to present an entire show. So starting this summer, I will be presenting a brand new show using hypnosis and comedy to explore the amazing capacity of the mind.

Look out for more details and remember... It's all in your head !

February 2005

Ships, ships, ships - For the time being I am on the short list with Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines. I seem to get the call every couple of weeks. These are all short-term contracts, one or two weeks, but that's perfect for me.

My favorite so far was the call I got on a Friday afternoon for a contract that had me flying out the next morning. I left at 6am, flew to Nassau, got on the Explorer, loaded my cases into the theater, had lunch, teched the show and performed the first show at 7:15. By 10:30 I was sipping a tasty cocktail in the lounge. I partied until 3, slept until 8:30 and was off the ship by 10. The check arrived the next week. Along with the money, I was also able to get some really nice video, I will be editing soon enough. Look for a new version of the tape soon.

Dover and Dover, again - 2005 started great with another big night in Dover, Delaware. Five shows at the fabulous, 'sold out' Schwartz Performing Arts Center. Here are a couple of cute shots of one of my willing volunteers and a nice letter of recommendation from the Executive Director.

Fall 2004 (10/1/2004)

Hey folks, it looks like this fall will be keeping me quite busy. Here's what's going on:

Big Halloween Show at the Purple Shamrock - As many of you know I have been appearing each week at the world famous Purple Shamrock, just down the street from Faneuil Hall, my other regular venue. Sometimes I have a big crowd, sometimes a smaller crowd, but each week we have lots of fun and lots of laughs. But on October 27th, the Wednesday before Halloween, we are planning the biggest show ever at 'the rock.' Big show, big laughs and hopefully big audience. Check out the poster for the event.

Peter 'drops the props' - Now that the summer is over and the crush of work has been replaced by the comforting dribble of shows, I have enough time to do some more stand up comedy. Most recently I have been making my way to Buzz, the theatre district dance club, for a show called The World's Best Variety Show. I also have upcoming appearances at The Cantab Lounge in Cambridge and finally a nice Thursday night spot at the Comedy Studio. Send me an email if you want more details about ' me and the mike.'

H.M.S. Hysterical - I have my first cruise ship gig this November. Just a couple of weeks, but hopefully if things go well I will have more opportunities to get on the high seas.

For a full list of upcoming public performances, visit the Upcoming Shows page.

Summer 2004 (6/22/04)

Summer is now in full swing and the big news is that I now have a weekly gig to invite you all to. Wednesday nights, come check me out at The Purple Shamrock. I will be doing some magic, making people laugh, and acting like the host with the most.

Earlier this month I did a really nice event for the Decordova Museum. It was their silent auction/gala and I was the entertainment for the night. Great crowd, great cause.

Spring 2004 (updated 4/6/04)

Well Spring is here, and although I have been busy getting ready for the busy summer season, I have recently taken a couple of minutes to update my Upcoming Shows page.

This spring I have a couple of benefits for very worthy causes: the Decordova Museum and Project Cope. Please consider attending, if the cause or the show appeal to you.

Also this week I am premiering my new site, BostonMagic.com. I have owned the domain for a long time, but I have never had the inspiration for what to do with it. Then a couple of weeks ago, I decided that waiting for the best possible idea was crazy, so instead I am using the new site to focus on my locality and my work with family and kid audiences. Please feel free to look at the first couple of pages and let me know what you think.

If the site looks familiar its probably because the color scheme and basic layout was inspired by a Kohl's grand opening flyer I have been holding onto for a long time. Good thing I didn't see the Stop and Shop flyer that week or my site would now include a special on pork loin.

Winter 2004 (updated 1/20/04)

Hey folks, hope all of you are surviving winter okay. Just recently the boston area got a reprieve from the bitter winter cold. And when I say a 'reprieve' I mean temperatures on the human side of freezing. I can't speak for everyone, but it's pretty clear that my blood has thickened for the season. I find myself walking around with my jacket open when the temperature rises to the high 20's.

The holidays were busy and productive. Years ago, I remember December being a time when you worked very hard, under all kinds of adverse conditions - just working as many gigs as you could to bankroll the dough for the coming months. Well this year, I am happy to say, I had nothing but A gigs. After dinner shows for company parties, strolling magic for cocktail hours, a couple of business groups. But all the time nice spaces, gracious audiences and at not one gig did I have to yell over the DJ. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but trust me it was rough 'back in the day.' I have no doubt these shows will yield some very nice letters. Stay tuned for new kind words.

Dover First Night was a terrific time - two shows in an old opera house in the afternoon and standing room only for my evening performances of the Flying Rodents. It might have something to do with the GIANT PHOTO on the cover of the arts section of the paper. When they told me they wanted a picture, I was pleased but unfazed. Most of the time a request is far from a guarantee. But this time I'm just glad I sent the darn thing. It's so big, I don't even know how I'm going to scan it for the web site. Ah the problems of success ( I guess I shouldn't be so eager to admit it's the first time I've had the issue).

Sometime around Thanksgiving I moved to my new place (note the new mailing address). The new place is great - more room for props, a workshop area, nice office space. Now I just need to figure out how to get rid of all the wallpaper. Wallpaper is everywhere, sometimes more than one pattern in a room. But at least I know how I'm going to fill all those long winter nights.

With the new year, I am currently hot on the trail of summer and fall bookings. Already the phone has begun to ring and I have my first June bookings early. So if you have a special event coming up, contact me now to lock in your dates.

More soon. peter

P.S. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my promise for new photos and video. Things have taken a little longer than I expected, so if you are holding your breath, please please sneak a little air through your nose and don't give up hope.

Late Fall 2003 (updated 11/11/03)

Well autumn finally arrived last week. I was still running down to Faneuil Hall for some last minute street shows while the weather was cooperating. On Saturday ( I think is was Saturday) the temperature was around 60 degrees and on Sunday it was cooler but still good enough for some nice big crowds. There is something about performing outside in the Fall that I love. It seems that we are all there celebrating the fact that we can still be outside. It's a ritual of defiance - because we all know that soon enough we will be running for the indoors. People were great and a couple even emailed me after the show to tell me how much they enjoyed the shows.

Days later (was it Wednesday?) the temperature just DROPPED and I was suddenly looking for my flannel PJs and the thermostat. But with Fall finally here I can get back to work (why is there always so much to do?). I am back on the stand up wagon, trying to write some, reading my Comedy Bible ( a great resource for thinking seriously about the funny) and getting back in with the local clubs and agents. At the same time I am working on improvements to the bread and butter i.e. magic/comedy/MC/spoken word/teen movie parody.

Speaking of which: If you want do book me for the holiday season, do it soon. The phone is ringing this season and I am making deals like Crazy Eddie. Call soon if you want to reserve a specific date or time.

But I know what's really on your mind; What is Peter listening to? These days I'm keeping it real with the new Erika Badú and Black Eyed Peas and getting back to the roots with Joss Stone. Please feel free to share the grooves.

Fall 2003 (updated 10/7/2003)

Wow, what a summer! Once again it flew by without much time to relax or update this poor neglected site. To be honest, it wasn't really lack of time as much as it was lack of motivation - Summer's way to nice here in Boston to spend a couple of hours in front of the computer. But now that the first winter winds have returned to New England, I feel more inclined to sit down and let you know how it's going. Soon the cold and darkness will overtake me and the computer will seem like my only friend. Expect the site to be updated every week.

As always, summer was fun and profitable. A couple of short trips, although nothing too exotic. Mostly shows in the New England area, which suited me just fine since I love being home to enjoy the Boston area while it's nice outside. September was busy with a couple of bigger corporate gigs including a great weekend of shows for Chatham Financial who had me come out to the Skytop Lodge in the Poconos. Great shows, great people and a couple of great clips for the next promo videotape.

I am teaching again at the Boston Center for adult education as well as continuing with my three regular private students. I never thought I would be interested in teaching magic, but the couple of people who I have taken on were way too motivated and persistent for me to say no. If you are interested in the class, check out the upcoming shows page for full details.

Coming Soon - I am long overdue for new promotional materials and stuff is definitely in the works. Look for new photos after Nov. 1 and new promo video before the end of the year.

Attention Peter Gross Fans: I had a bad, un-backed up hard drive crash in late September and lost a lot of names and e-mail addresses. If you want to be on the peter gross e-mail list, please write me and give me your information again. I have recently upgraded my computer and I won't let it happen again. Promise.
Late Spring 2003 ( 5/28/2003)

Well I have to admit I feel bad it's taken me so long to update this page. My plan was to have an update at least once a season, but somehow I missed the dead of winter and spring. Lucky for me, as a write this mother nature (emphasis on MOTHER $#*@ ) has provided the Boston area with one of the longest, coldest, and most recently wettest Spring times in a long time; so it feels a little like it is still March. Currently (the Wednesday after Memorial Day) we are having a week of rainy days with night time temperatures in the FORTIES! Over the weekend we tried to put on the annual Faneuil Hall Street Performers Festival, but with the weather not cooperating, the entire event was reduced to each performer getting one or two shows over the course of the weekend. We had both the opening ceremonies and the closing show canceled because of rain

Lucky for me, it still looks like it's going to be a busy summer with plenty of things on the calendar. I will be taking the stage for a series of shows in Maine (as part of a Comedy Murder Mystery Show), will be leaving soon for Norfolk for a long weekend, and have a couple of other trips in the works. Check out the upcoming shows page for full details.

May also gave me a chance to take a much needed vacation. This year the destination was Santa Fe and Taos, New Mexico. I tried to document different parts of the trip, and will be posting pictures soon.

Fall 2002 (updated 11/7/2002)

As I look out my office window I see the vivid yellow and brilliant red of another mild New England autumn. Fall means more time inside, more time at my desk and more time to read, research and write. As always, fall is a chance to work on new promotional materials including version 2.2 of my new promotional videotape. Look for it right here, online, right after the new year.

I am also returning to my interest in stand up comedy. I've already started to do open mike nights and soon enough I will be posting my appearances so you can come and see. And what do I find funny? 3 cent stamps, chicken wings, Taco Bell decor, Hitler's mustache, James Bond's car, and the next Persian Gulf war. I feel just like Jerry Sienfeld: starting at the bottom, with brand new material. Lucky for me I have a lot less fame, success and money to get in my way. Poor Jerry.

WANT TO SEE ME PERFORM? Coming up soon is my first appearance at Boston's First Night in about 10 years. I also have an evening of performing/teaching at the Boston Center for Adult Education. Check the upcoming shows page for full details.

PUBLISHING UPDATE: Magic and Mischief - Gross Gags and Twisted Tricks
continues to sell. Currently my stocks are low, but more books are on the way; I just can't seem to keep a supply (I'm not complaining) Don't forget that the holidays are just around the corner and contact me soon if you want to give my book to your favorite rug rat. For more on the book check out the book pages.

FUNNYMAGIC UPDATE: To see what's new online, check out What's New.

Return soon for more updates.

Late Summer 2002 (updated 8/6/2002)

Summer is in full swing and with the beginning of August, the heat in Boston has been pretty intense. July had me doing festivals - Marblehead Arts Festival, Norfolk Harborfest, Easton Town Center Busker Series. Back in Boston, I have been down at Faneuil Hall - check my picture on the cover of The Boston Metro.

Come, see the show and say hi.

Since it's been too hot to be outside, I have had a chance to update the website. Check out these improvements:

New streaming, quicktime version of promotional video, new Brookline Tab Article, Boston Metro page , Improper Bostonian feature on press page, Better, hipper photos on Peter's bio page.

As usual, I will be down in Maryland for the first couple of weeks of the Maryland Renaissance Festival. This year I will be on a larger stage, so check the schedule.

PUBLISHING UPDATE: Magic and Mischief - Gross Gags and Twisted Tricks
is selling great. I continue to receive messages from people who have been trying out the tricks, especially HelpMeIMessedUp.com, which creates a message every time someone does the trick. For more on the book check out the book pages.

FUNNYMAGIC UPDATE:To see what's new online, check out What's New.

Return soon for more updates.

 

More Information
About Peter
Previous Clients
Getting in Touch

Current Projects
Magic and other Suspect Activities
Funny Business - Corporate Entertainment
Peter Gross & his Amazing Flying Rodents